I just got back from a function in which I heard someone talk for an hour about his experience growing up—which, as measured by the pain he still reflected through the telling of it, was extremely difficult. Twice he said that he was “[his age] and age 15”—as if time had stopped still for him, keeping him frozen in the opaque amber of his anguished childhood.

Here was a person so entrapped in his old story that he felt bound by it decades later. Here was a person asking himself questions such as, “What could I have done if I hadn’t been weighed down by all those burdens?” Hearing him articulate questions such as that, I gained increased respect for the power of questions, and how important it is to ask ourselves the right ones. Where might he have gone in his life if he had asked himself other questions, more empowering questions—questions like “What can I do now, from where I stand, to create a life of meaning, joy, and fulfillment?” or “How can I transform the pain I have been through into something that contributes something good to others?”

In the attempt to move from an old story into our New Story, conscious questions can create a leverage like nothing else; they can catapult us into a completely different place. If we’re willing to loosen our hold on ancient hurts, and to dismantle an identity primarily defined by how we were wounded, we can begin to create our lives from a place of imagination and power. My friend and colleague Jamie Walters of Ivy Sea has a wonderful quotation by Alberto Villoldo in her e-mail signature that speaks to this exactly: "The task you face is to reconcile yourself with the future and craft for yourself a destiny, rather than take refuge in the drama of your past."

And how to do that? One powerful question at a time, one potent action at a time, one present moment at a time. In the words of the wonderful Persian poet Rumi:

“…Your way begins on the other side.
Become the sky.
Take an axe to the prison wall.
Escape.
Walk out like someone suddenly born into color.
Do it now…”

In a conversation I had yesterday with a fellow spiritual director, she reminded me of the “calling” I had received—that spiritual direction is a calling. And I think this idea of having a calling is an interesting one to examine in the context of creating our New Stories; because as much as we do, in fact, actively author our lives, I believe we also are authored—by God, the Divine, the Universe, Higher Intelligence, whatever term you want to use.

How else to explain the synchronicity of this true story? In 1999, I was unhappy with the job I was in and looking for a new challenge that felt aligned with my deepest values. Toward that end, I subscribed to a newsletter on making career transitions—titled "Changing Course"—and in it read an article about someone who was a “spiritual director.” I had never seen the term before but immediately was intrigued, having at different points explored social work and the ministry as possible career options. I did an Internet search on the term, and discovered Mercy Center in Burlingame, California—only a few miles away from where I lived. Moreover, a year-long training in spiritual direction, part of a three-year program, was beginning there in just a few days! I called the office and asked if I could attend the opening class and simply pay for the day if I didn’t continue; I have always suspected that the receptionist might have made an exception by telling me yes. The following Saturday I found a place in the classroom; and within 10 minutes, I felt an inner “Eureka!”—I had finally found what I’d been looking for, for so many years.

In this case, I truly felt called—guided to a practice I hadn’t even known existed, and one that enriches my life in immeasurable ways. What about you? What experiences have you had with “following the breadcrumbs”—and discovering at the end of the trail an incredible feast?

Welcome to the new blog of The New Story! It is my hope that you'll find this an engaging resource and will be inspired to add your own accounts of the trials and triumphs inherent in creating New Stories for our lives.

The term "New Story" has been used in a cosmological sense by people including Thomas Berry, Jean Houston, Meg Wheatley and Brian Swimme; for more information about this use of the term, check out this speech by Thomas Berry. As a life-purpose coach, I use the term in my work as a metaphor for the process of individual transformation, believing wholeheartedly that as we create a New Story for our individual lives, we can contribute collectively to creating a New Story for our world.

Actually living out of our highest vision of what's possible for our lives is both inspiring and challenging. It's all well and good to want to fully manifest "our dearest passions, deepest purpose, and Divine expression," as the mission statement for my business reads in part, but sometimes it just feels easier to sit in front of the tube with a pint of Ben & Jerry's, doesn't it? So that's the motivation behind this blog: to share my own experiences as I attempt daily to live my New Story, and to invite you to share yours. Let's write when we succumb to Survivor or whatever television equivalent tempts us; let's write when we face our fears and, as Eleanor Roosevelt counseled, "do the thing we think we cannot do." For me, starting this blog has been a way to face down the fear of sharing too much or too many of my personal stories. But we learn through stories, and we connect through stories, and ultimately the ways in which we choose to "story" our lives define our very experience of it.